The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, and for many of us that means treating our significant other to boxes of chocolates, a fancy dinner, a bouquet of flowers or maybe telling them how amazing they look as they get ready for the evening.
But what about if we practiced the sentiment of Valentine’s Day and bestowed these gifts on a regular basis and not just one day a year? Particularly the act of complimenting our partners.
Read on to see what compliments can do for your romantic relationship.
Compliments Show Appreciation
Not only are compliments nice to hear, they signify a deeper aspect of a relationship, and that’s appreciation. When you compliment your significant other, you’re conveying to them that you see them and that you appreciate them for who they are. And the more detailed and genuine the compliment, the more appreciated they will feel. Saying, “your hair looks great today” can go a long way, but so can telling your significant other that you appreciated that they put the kids to bed last night. Compliments come in different forms and everyone craves appreciation in a different way, so switch it up sometimes and make sure your significant other's love tank is full in many ways.
Compliments Help Restore Positivity and Happy Vibes in a Relationship
No relationship is perfect and many get stuck because of mundane everyday routines where people stop to notice the things they like about their partner. So why not try complimenting your partner to get some good energy flowing between you both? “Expressing appreciation adds to your reservoir of optimism and good feelings. Life’s stresses and tensions can reduce the supply”, says Marcia Naomi Berger, MSW, LCSW and author. Berger stresses that communicating appreciation to one another, even daily, is important because both people are paying attention to what is going well in the relationship versus the negatives, which people find easier to do.
Compliments Make the Compliment Giver Also Feel Good
Most of us wouldn’t think that giving someone a compliment would also boost our own mood. Well it can! Vanessa Bohns, a social psychologist at Cornell University, and her research team conducted several studies to understand how volunteers felt before and after receiving or giving a random stranger a compliment. The result was unexpected but very pleasant. Both the compliment givers and receivers felt good afterwards and the givers reported to be in a better mood and even said they would be more likely to give a compliment to a stranger again in the future. In this case your partner isn’t a stranger, so bestowing a compliment to someone you know and love might be easier. The bottom-line is that compliments are uplifting, so why not try and even make a common habit out of giving them.